


Keith's Goodbye

by fieryrainbow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Don't Read This, Gen, It's therapeutic for some reason, Kind of a panic attack, No Romance, Self Harm, Suicide, Trans Character, Trans Keith (Voltron), Trans Male Character, Transgender, and that's it, brief mention of shiro, but not really, just depression and death, keith dies, no ships, not even a name drop but allura is shiros wife, probably pretty inaccurate as to how cops prevent suicide, shitty title because idfc, this is a vent fic, trigger warning, unless you want to read about me forcing my emotions onto a character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 07:30:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10552460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fieryrainbow/pseuds/fieryrainbow
Summary: This is 110% a vent fic, don't read it unless you want to see me project onto your favorite character.





	

Six attempts. Six fucking attempts to take his own life and guess who wasn't dead yet. God, even in suicide he couldn't do anything right. He was driving, he wasn't sure where, anywhere but home. He'd been hospitalized again, they had deemed him fit enough to go home with his family on visiting hours and he took the opportunity to run away. At this point they'd already probably called an amber alert on him or something. 'All citizens should be on the look out for a teenage androgynous looking girl with a mullet on a red motorbike'. Yeah, that sounded like something his mom would describe him as.

He just kept driving, looking ahead and running through the grand total of six failed suicides behind him. Slashing his wrists, shit ton of sleeping pills, a noose, more wrist cutting, strangulation with a plastic bag, slashing open his stomach. All over the course of seven years, each with a lengthy hospital stay after, all failures. He was eighteen, he should be getting ready for college, having boyfriends and girlfriends, going to his senior prom. God, he'd been doing this since he was eleven, that really put his life into perspective. He'd missed so much school these past few years he wouldn't even be able to go to college if he tried, none of his peers really even knew him he was gone so much.

He'd been paying little attention, only focusing when he'd ended up in another city. Was this Chicago? He never paid enough attention to the cities outside this tiny suburb his parents moved them to in the hopes a different environment would help him. Busy streets, he needed to focus. Tall buildings. Maybe he could just...

If there was one thing he was good at, it was climbing fire escapes, til soon enough he was on the roof of a tall apartment building. The skyline was really pretty if it didn't mean it blocked out the stars. He remembered wanting to go to Space as a kid, and a kids summer camp at NASA he did really well in. And then he started going by 'he' and things became really muddled and he gave up.

Without thinking about it, he'd climbed over the protective rail of the roof, standing on the precipice of hell and eternal darkness. He didn't need to write a suicide note, he'd written enough for people to guess it. 'My name's Keith, I'm an 18 year old boy, whether you think so or not. My mom loves me and this isn't her fault. I chose this of my own volition because I'm not supposed to be here, in this body, no matter how much therapists try to convince me I am. If anybody's reading this, please check on my brother for me. The last thing I want is his blood on my hands.' Honestly, it was cheesy and could do with revisions, but he didn't have time for that.

This was it. The biggest choice he could make ever. He was in full control of himself, something he never felt before now. This wasn't reversible. And below the anger and pain and yearning to end it he was scared. He could feel his heart rate picking up and his breathing shorten. He tried his calming techniques he'd learned in therapy. _Five things you can see._  Cars driving by, helicopter and airplane lights in the sky, a couple of stars, his mothers face when she'd hear the news, a few police cars now below him. _Four things you can hear._  Horns honking in traffic, Shiro's broken sobs from Keiths first hospital visit, the wind whistling by his ear, people yelling for him to come down. _Three things you can feel._  His binder digging into his skin with every breath, his sister-in-law hugging him when he came home mere hours ago, his wet eyes. _Two things you can smell._  The bleach used to clean his blood from the bathtub, cigarette scent from previous roof sitters. _One thing you can taste._  Salty tears.

Maybe this wasn't it. Maybe someone would somehow be on the roof with him and step in. Talk him down. Save his life. Help him heal. He'd like to be that person for someone else. Taking a last deep breath, he stepped forward. Screams were heard, windows flew past, air rushed into his ears and lungs. He hit the cement and it all went silent, his world black.


End file.
